- The Heartbreak of a Broken Relationship - February 26, 2025
A broken relationship with nature mirrors human betrayal—trust fractured by wildfires and disasters. Healing requires reconnection, acceptance, and mutual restoration.
In the wake of the wildfires in LA, I have listened as heartbroken people express feelings of nature having betrayed them. They also felt the whiplash of subsequent guilt, recognizing it is in part their fault as a human complicit in the systems that are causing such destruction. Our relationship with nature is as intricate and profound as any deep human bond. It nurtures us like a parent cradling an infant, ignites wonder like a child lost in play, and evokes the thrill of a first love. Nature is our refuge, our exhilaration, and the place we return to when we need to find ourselves again.
We are nature.
We are nature. It is our partners, children, our pets, our plants. It is us, in the wild creatures that roam freely, in the trees that breathe for us, and in the rivers that mirror the ebb and flow of our emotions and our blood flow. It teaches us patience, resilience, and impermanence. It feeds us, shelters us, and holds our stories in its soil. And yet, we often take it for granted, becoming numb to the beauty that surrounds us, forgetting to appreciate its gifts, until we are reminded of its power in ways we never expected.
The Wound of Separation
Despite our inherent connection, modern life often distances us from nature. And when we drift too far, we become sick, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Research shows that nature connectedness is four times more predictive of human happiness than socioeconomic status. We protect what we love, and yet, as we watch nature suffer, we are left questioning our role in its destruction.
Then, there are moments when it feels like nature itself has betrayed us. In the wake of wildfires, hurricanes, floods, and droughts, it can seem as though the very force that gave us life has turned against us, taking homes, communities, and even lives in its fury. Just as nature sustains, it also destroys. Dust to dust, we return to the earth from which we came. It is also appropriate but painful to feel guilt about our hand in causing nature’s destruction and wrath.
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The Betrayal of Trust
I was talking with a patient who lost her home in the Palisades fire about feeling betrayed by nature. Betrayal is one of the deepest wounds we can experience in any relationship. It fractures our sense of trust, forcing our brains to split in two, the one we love most is now the source of our greatest pain. This contradiction creates a kind of psychological paralysis: How can something so essential also be so devastating? Like the long term attachment wound due to the abuse or neglect in dependent years by a caregiver who you also rely upon for survival.
The person I need for comfort is causing my pain.
Betrayal trauma of a romantic partner has similar devastating consequences. Even long after a betrayal has occurred, its effects linger. The body keeps score, and the trauma manifests in ways we may or may not even realize. Flashbacks, sudden waves of sadness, or bursts of anger. Hypervigilance, feeling constantly on edge, scanning for danger. Numbness, dissociation, or a sense of being lost in one’s own life. Physical symptoms like tension, insomnia, or chronic pain, betrayal, whether by a loved one or by nature itself, can make us feel powerless, trapped on an uncontrollable ride we never agreed to take.
Betrayal is one of the deepest wounds we can experience in any relationship. It fractures our sense of trust, forcing our brains to split in two, the one we love most is now the source of our greatest pain.
The Disconnect: When Nature Feels Distant
There was a time when humans lived in direct relationship with the land, guided by the rhythms of the seasons, the stars, and the wild creatures around them. Today, our fast-paced, urbanized existence has severed that connection. Instead of feeling like part of the ecosystem, we often view nature as a resource, something to extract from, control, or retreat to only when convenient, or when accessible.
This disconnection comes at a cost. Studies show that nature connectedness is one of the strongest predictors of human happiness, four times more influential than socioeconomic status. When we lose touch with the natural world, we don’t just harm the planet, we harm ourselves. Anxiety, depression, and chronic stress rise in environments devoid of natural elements, while time spent in nature has been shown to lower cortisol, improve mood, and enhance overall well-being.
But for many, the return to nature isn’t as simple as stepping outside. The emotional and psychological barriers, fear, trauma, or ingrained or enforced habits of disconnection, can make it difficult to truly feel that bond again. This is where psychedelics come in.
Psychedelics: A Bridge Back to Nature
For centuries, Indigenous cultures have used psychedelics, ayahuasca, psilocybin mushrooms, peyote, and others, as sacred tools to deepen their connection with community, nature and the universe. These substances were not recreational but reverent, a means of remembering the interconnectedness of all things.
Modern research is now validating what these cultures have long known, that psychedelics have the potential to heal deep emotional wounds, rewire the brain, and restore a sense of awe and belonging. Psilocybin, in particular, has been shown to increase “nature relatedness,” helping people feel a profound connection to the natural world long after the experience has ended.
How does this happen? Psychedelics temporarily dissolve the perception of individual self, allowing individuals to move beyond the constraints of their conditioned minds. In this heightened state, nature is no longer seen as “out there” but as it truly is, an extension and an involution of oneself. Many describe experiences of merging with the earth, feeling the consciousness of trees, or sensing the rhythm of the planet’s breath. This isn’t a “hallucination,” it’s a fundamental shift in perspective, one that aligns with what Indigenous and spiritual wisdom has long told us: everything is interconnected.
Healing the Trauma of Nature’s Betrayal
For those who have experienced climate grief, natural disasters, or deep disillusionment with the state of the environment, nature itself can feel like a source of pain. The same forests that once provided sanctuary may now feel like reminders of loss. The rivers that once symbolized renewal may seem tainted by pollution. This is a form of betrayal trauma, a psychological wound that arises when something deeply trusted becomes a source of harm.
Psychedelics offer a path to processing grief, restoring trust, and fostering a renewed sense of reciprocity with nature.
Healing from this trauma requires more than just intellectual understanding; it requires emotional and embodied reconnection. Psychedelics offer a path to processing grief, restoring trust, and fostering a renewed sense of reciprocity with nature. Psychedelics are not a panacea, they are not for everyone and not necessary for everyone but, when guided with intention, psychedelic experiences can help some individuals and communities move beyond despair and into active participation in the healing of self, each other and our planet. Nature connectedness does help people to take pronature actions and in turn this primary and reciprocal relationship improves.
Discover the Indigenous Reciprocity Initiative of the Americas
The Future: Merging Ancient Wisdom with Modern Science
As psychedelics re-emerge in the realm of medicine, they bring with them an opportunity, not just for personal healing but for collective transformation. Imagine a world where people don’t just intellectually acknowledge climate change but feel their interconnectedness with the planet changing in a visceral way. A world where nature is not just a backdrop for human activity but a sacred relationship we actively nurture.
The fusion of Indigenous wisdom, neuroscience, and ecological consciousness has the power to reshape how we live, heal, and coexist. I think we’ve forgotten how to listen. In the quiet spaces of the forest there is a symphony of life. In the whisper of the wind there are stories and lessons that speak volumes. When we are still, quiet, and humble for long enough, a profound sense of awe about the living, breathing, sentient world of nature, we recognize, re-cognize (think again) that we are nature. We will remember because it is one of few absolute truths in this life. The destruction of nature is self destruction, so no wonder we are hurting as fires and now floods devastate our earth-body.
Nature Relationship Therapy
A deep betrayal shakes the sense of safety and belonging in the natural world. This emotional rupture can lead to fear, avoidance, grief, and even a loss of spiritual connection.To heal from betrayal, we must reclaim choice. The belief that we have no control keeps us locked in suffering. But the truth is, we can rebuild trust, not only in interpersonal relationships but in relationships with the natural world. Trauma isolates us. It makes us question ourselves, our choices, and our ability to trust again. But trauma, especially collective trauma, requires collective healing. We need each other to process, to reflect, and to rebuild. Healing from betrayal, whether personal or ecological, is a journey.
Healing after a natural disaster is not just about rebuilding structures, it’s about rebuilding trust with the earth itself.
Watching beloved landscapes burn, losing homes, and feeling the unpredictability of nature can leave deep emotional scars. Healing after a natural disaster is not just about rebuilding structures, it’s about rebuilding trust with the earth itself. Just as in human relationships, repairing this bond requires time, understanding, and intentional steps toward reconnection. But just as the chaparral regrows after fire, so too can our connection with the land.
If you’re struggling to trust nature again after experiencing the destructive force of wildfires, here’s a step-by-step guide to healing, reconnecting, and finding resilience in the natural world.
- Acknowledge and Process Your Emotions
- Recognize the pain and emotional impact. Grief, anger, fear, and even resentment are natural responses to loss.
- Mourn what was lost. Whether it’s a home, a beloved landscape, or a sense of security, allow yourself to grieve.
- Understand nature’s role. Wildfires are part of California’s natural cycles. Nature is not punishing you, and you are not alone in this experience.
- Create a Safe Space for Healing
- Start small. Sit in a park, watch the sunset, or take deep breaths of fresh air.
- Ease back into connection. Visit green spaces that were untouched by the fire if being in nature feels overwhelming.
- Use grounding practices. Place your feet in the soil, listen to the ocean, or meditate outdoors to calm your nervous system.
- Rebuild Trust with Nature
- Understand the larger ecological story. Learn how wildfires shape California’s ecosystems and how destruction and renewal coexist.
- Engage with nature in small ways. Garden, walk on a familiar trail, or observe the slow return of life to fire affected areas.
- Shift your focus. Look for signs of resilience, like new plant growth, returning wildlife, or healing landscapes.
- Express and Share Your Experience
- Journaling, art, and storytelling. Use creative outlets to process emotions and express your personal journey.
- Seek community support. Connect with others who have experienced wildfires; healing is less isolating when shared.
- Give Back to the Land
- Participate in restoration efforts. Replant trees, rebuild trails, or support wildlife conservation projects.
- Foster reciprocity. View caring for nature as a way to rebuild trust and connection with the land.
- Change your perspective. Instead of seeing nature as unpredictable, recognize it as a living, evolving system.
- Find Meaning and Growth in the Experience
- Reflect on what the wildfire has taught you. Consider lessons in resilience, impermanence, and interconnection.
- Use your experience to support others. Share wisdom through activism, community involvement, or personal storytelling.
- Recognize that healing is not about erasing the past. It’s about forging a new way forward in relationship with the earth.
- Recommit to a Lifelong Connection with Nature
- Make time for nature. Spend time outdoors regularly to nurture your renewed relationship with the land.
- Cultivate awe and gratitude. Appreciate small moments of beauty, from a sunrise to the sound of the wind through the trees.
- Understand that healing is an ongoing process. Just like nature, your relationship with it will continue to evolve.
- Move Forward with Strength and Resilience
- Take intentional steps. Acknowledge the pain, understand nature’s cycles, reconnect in small ways, and give back.
- Embrace nature’s renewal. Nature is not just a force of destruction; it is also a space of beauty, resilience, and transformation.
- Remember: Nature rebuilds, and so can we.
Healing after a wildfire is a journey of grief, renewal, and reconnection. While the devastation can feel overwhelming, it doesn’t have to sever your relationship with nature. By acknowledging loss, understanding nature’s cycles, and taking small steps to rebuild trust, whether through quiet moments outdoors, community support, or restoration efforts, you can find resilience and healing. Just as the land regenerates, so too can our connection with it. Nature is not only a force of destruction but also one of renewal, reminding us that we, too, can grow, adapt, and thrive in the face of change.
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