During the Women and Psychedelics Forum, co-promoted by the Chacruna Institute for Psychedelic Plant Medicines and the East West Psychology Program of the California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS), held November 19 at CIIS in San Francisco I twice used the n-word during my remarks.  

I apologize for my careless and insensitive use of this racist term. It inflicted harm on Black people in particular given the history of this word. It inflicted harm on people of color who have faced years of racist oppression. I also inflicted harm on the community, the Women & Psychedelics Forum, the organizers, and CIIS.  

While I am sorry for my offense, I recognize there is no way to extract the pain or to soften the blow I obliged others to endure. The onus is on me to rectify the harm caused and, although I cannot take back the damage, I will work to understand and acquire a greater knowledge of racism to which I contributed and how to end it. I promise to regularly inquire, both personally and externally, to gain information that broadens my understanding of racism in America and work against racist ideology, my own and that of others.  I will do everything in my power to carry out my commitment. 

Editorial note:

Based on feedback received after publishing her apology, the author revised the original by adding this sentence: “It inflicted harm on Black people in particular given the history of this word”. This is to make sure to name the particular harm to Black people given the history of this word. The author thanks the members of the community for the feedback. Date: January 10th, 2018.

Also read: 

A Collective Open Apology for Response to Racist Language in the Women and Psychedelics Forum

The Damage of White Feminism: An Anecdote

How White Feminists Oppress Black Women: When Feminism Functions as White Supremacy

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